克罗索巨兽

说逻辑不通的，你们可以用一种看谁都是直男癌的极端女权主义者的视角来看这电影。

前男友管我不让我喝酒不让我鬼混还赶我走就是他的错，小学同学跟踪我几年，但是你想我在这无聊的地方陪着你，做梦吧，什么，还威胁我？去死吧！哦，小帅哥，你笑啥，你就是个自慰棒而已

开头前男友觉得我鬼混我喝酒是我没自制力赶我走，到乡下又发现我一小学同学竟然跟踪几年，但是他没对我做什么大事就算了，于是我寂寞难耐没人陪我过夜，找了小学同学的朋友，对，就是那个他所有朋友里面最帅的了，过了一夜发现我小学同学在做一些之前我做过的危险事情，等等，我之前有做过危险事情吗？好像杀了几百人吧，啊，我不记得了。小学同学看到我显得很生气，生什么气，睡一下你朋友怎么了？接着我前男友竟然来找我了，我好高兴啊，但是他竟然说我是个废物，以前拿他的钱，现在拿酒吧客人的钱，老娘就不乐意了，但是我万万没想到竟然在酒吧看到了前男友和小学同学的撕逼大戏，霸道酒吧老板这句：我就算是个疯子她也不会跟你走。真是撩到我了，晃晃悠悠回家，进屋突然看到一人在沙发上，哎呦，吓死我了，怎么是你啊，霸道酒吧老板同志你好，哎呀妈呀，刚才吓到头疼，好像想起来了什么！对！小时候你踩坏了我的玩具城市，你现在又想用踩坏城市来威胁我？你就是个垃圾，自卑的垃圾！我要给我男朋友打电话说跟他回家，怎么你还要打我？看我宇宙无敌大板凳，再来一个大橱柜，有种别跑啊！我追，额等等，应该是我要跑才对，跑啊跑，还是被追上了，被揍了，哎没地形杀我打不过他啊，对了，我可以去韩国变成怪兽不就到美国了。到了韩国下了飞机，到了地点，我要给我男友电话了，看到没，我虽然放了你鸽子但是这次我给你电话了，不像以前有时候都忘了你这个人了，解释太麻烦了干了再说，我一把抓住小学同学(酒吧都被烧了哪来的老板了)，你看着我，看你还感威胁我？走你！哈哈哈，我是大英雄了，哈哈哈哈，什么？机器人没杀人？我杀了几百个了？你说的都是什么啊，我虽然之前杀人很多，但是我不知道啊，你看那个机器人虽然没杀人，万一他要是杀了呢，早就告诉你了，我抽烟喝酒乱上床杀人如麻，但我是个好女孩

脑洞大开，有两种情况。一种是奇思妙想，另一种是脑子进水。这部影片显然属于后者。

影片一开始就出现了一个酷似哥斯拉的怪兽。紧接着画风一转，男女主角登场。竟然是我们美丽的“公主”安妮·海瑟薇和帅气的“大表哥”丹·史蒂文斯。顿时我对此片充满了期待。

然而，接下来的剧情属于毫无正经地胡说八道。公主居然就是怪兽，公主的好朋友是机器人。只因童年时两人双双被雷劈，所以有了特异功能。然后，好朋友突然性格扭曲，机器人黑化。公主怪兽则成为了正义的化身，一掌拍死了机器人。至于大表哥，他只是来打酱油的。最惨的是首尔人民，只因当年一个熊孩子的恶作剧，付出了惨痛的代价，这是什么仇什么怨啊？

最扯的是，这样不符合逻辑的胡编乱造，还有人可以解读出正能量的中心思想，我也是服了。

想到今年的高考语文梗。选取的是巩高峰的《一种美味》进行阅读理解，文章大体内容是一个家庭吃鱼的经历。最后两道小题“理解《一种美味》”和“文章结尾赏析”。该文章末尾为“现在，它早死了，只是眼里还闪着一丝诡异的光。”考完后有人问原作者巩高峰“那种诡异的光，究竟表达了什么？”巩高峰忍不住吐槽：“我是真做不出来，我估计我做出来还没有他们做得好。现在标准答案没出来，我怎么知道自己想要表达什么啊，我又哪里知道结尾有什么意义。我本来只是搞笑的！”

影片制作方被哥斯拉版权方日本东宝株式会社告上法庭。我觉得完全可以这样自辩：我们没有抄袭，我们就是来搞笑的！

emm……一头雾水。

被微博上的小视频吸引专门找来看的，然而整个影片让人有些摸不着头脑，难道是表达的太隐晦了么。

人物的行为奇奇怪怪，就算按照醉酒来解释也有些逻辑不通。亏得一开始觉得高深莫测，以为怪物是主角心中负面情绪之类的一种具象化（韩国人做错了啥-_-||），然而最后也没有明确或是模糊的解释。

整个故事呈现的磕磕绊绊，是为了反映男主黯然失色挣扎无望的人生？还是衬托女主虽然浑浑噩噩酗酒瞎搞但最后拯救苍生的光辉？理解不能。

唯一的体会大概是好孩纸不能酗酒吧☺

The fourth feature of Spanish genre-bucking filmmaker Nacho Vigalondo (whose debut film TIMECRIMES 2007 is a mind-boggling wheeze on time-loop), COLOSSAL is a shaggy-dog story which marries a woman’s striving for temperance and getting her life back on track in the middle America with a kaiju’s mysterious manifestation in the hub of Seoul, thetelekinetic synchrony of their actionsflouts any rationale but it is an ingenious premise to tickle audience’s interest.

Gloria (Hathaway), a jobless writer has a drinking problem, is unceremoniously dumped by her piqued boyfriend Tim (Stevens) and has to move back to her hometown. She touches base with her childhood friend Oscar (Sudeikis), who is congenial enough to offer her a job as a barista in the bar where he has inherited from his father, although it isn’t a perfect option for a woman who tries to dry out, but a woman needs to survive, Gloria takes the offer.

When a Brobdingnagian monster repeatedly materializes in Seoul at the exact same place and same time (8:05 a.m. in Gloria’s time zone) and afterward vaporizes into the thin air, a personal tic triggers off Gloria’s curiosity and following a simple experiment it certifies that the monster is actually her avatar: if she walks into a playground nearby exactly at that time, the monster will simultaneously appear in Seoul and whatever she does during that special spatio-temporal frame, the monster will follow suit, which means it can wreak disproportionate havoc to the city of Seoul. If that is the case, why not staving off from the magic playground at that particular time, everything will be easy-breezy. Nevertheless, the plot thickens when Oscar steps in, it turns out that a giant robot is his remote avatar, Gloria must thereby handle with care of their increasingly passive-aggressive relation especially after she spends a romantic evening with their common friend Joel (Stowell), because it seems that Oscar is enamored with her, or is he?

What follows is a rather unexpected change of gear, the movie’s light-hearted backbone and absurdity subsides when Oscar lets rip his domineering bearing over Gloria by threatening to rampage Seoul if she disobeys, and more upsettingly, there is no specific reason behind his transgression, it is not that he is driven by jealousy or a past grudge, it is just his complexion, a self-hater who takes insidious pleasure in making other’s lives miserable, which essentially stems from his own unhappiness, stuck in a dead-water life in a small town. As a barkeeper, there is not much deal he can bargain, but now, possessed with the destructive superpower, he has the leverage to hector Gloria into subservience, and it is not difficult to detect its mordant connotations pertaining to today's reality (an egoist's bullying culture) and a slightly offensive sideswipe at small-town dweller’s low self-esteem.

How can Gloria defeat this man-demon in her own way without a third-party’s involvement (its shoe-string budget doesn’t allow it)? Vigalondo again proves his innovativeness (with a junket trip to Seoul as its rewarding divvy)in the genre storytelling, after a convenient memory recovery of what instigates their avatar’s presence in Seoul in the first place, which happened 25 years ago when both Gloria and Oscar were school-kids (a cheap CGI of thunderclaps is a requisite for the scenario), Gloria outsmarts Oscar with a deus ex machina (which has no logic groundings but story-wise, an emboldening maneuver) and triumphantly humbles her indomitable nemesis. In toto, gingered up by two outstanding performances from Hathaway and Sudeikis, in particular the latter’s gradual metamorphosis from a goody-goody to an obnoxious sadist, COLOSSAL shores up a strong feminist manifesto of a woman’s own freestanding ritual of finding back her mojo, against its built-in limits in rounding out its yarn of incredulity.

referential point: Gareth Edwards’ GODZILLA (2014, 6.4/10)